the moon meets the sun

i've tasted 
fire and ice

neither
fully satisfied.

I taste you

a combination
of heat
and cold

of floral
and earth

and I want it
again
and again.

You are a balance.
An in between
I didn't know
I could experience.

I waited for the moonrise
and you showed me worth
in holding out
for the sun.

Worn

I fell into something familiar
and like the last go,
it ended in
abrupt
explosive
and repetetive
goodbyes.

The familiar no longer
felt like
a warm fireplace.
It burned my
skin
and I turned to look
to something
cooling.

Something healing.

I fell into something familiar
those two years ago.

This time,
I walk into something
new.

Changing tides

I see the water meet the sky’s edge 
I expand, here.
I take in what's changed
what's remained.

I remember the moments 
I came to her shore 
seeking something other 
than what was,
seeking answers. 

Today
I come to her 
with a new request. 

Her waves sing 
and I ask for witness
as I recognize 
my own growth. 

I seek her
expanding memory 
so that when I forget
she’ll remind me
 
that tides change 
and so do I. 

In joy

What 
is joy
compared to
a lasting
ache

In joy
I lack the
preoccupation
the restless attachment
the wondering if
my feelings are matched
or returned at all

In joy
all I have
is the way
you leaned in to kiss me

The memory of standing
in the stairwell
you held my gaze
you held me
to share you’re not
dating anyone else

All I have
are the hands
that didn’t let go of mine
from that first kiss
in the middle of your kitchen

I’m not sure how to write
in joy

But I can try.

Slut

I fly below the equator
a boy kisses me
while we dance.

We go back together
sleep in separate beds.
I do not let him in.

He starts the new day
telling his friends
that he’s had me
in ways he has not.

My heart bleeds
for the times
and the moments
I knelt in shame.
Begging the universe
to take from me
the impossible
polarity
of being a woman
in a world
where I must be

Sexual
but conservative.

Beautiful
but subtle.

Audible
but silent.

Desirable
but chaste.

He slapped my ass,
called me a good kisser.

My lips burned.

Not with lust,
but intuition
that he would cause harm. 


And he did. 



balcony

Water dripped from above
like it was raining
except
the humid air
did not bring with it
precipitation.

I looked overhead to find
the source
and saw the light on
and her face
looking over the railing.

Naturally I wondered
who she was
and what she was to you.

She disappeared.
The light, now off.

I remained below
still watching the water
as it splashed to the ground,
watched it pool
as I walked to the front door.

I placed my key in its lock
and let my own
hopeful expectations
drain.

someone like you

I feel small
even contemplating the idea
that eyes like yours
hands like yours
kindness like yours

could consider me.

Eyes that linger
like they want to see.
Like they want to remember.

Gentle hands,
intentional.

You remember details.
You ask questions.

I wonder
if someone like me,
flawed and spontaneous,
direct,
could attract someone
subtle and
tender
like you.