More time

“I need more time,”

he says,
earnestly.

I need more, too,
I want to respond.

I need more time
with you
knowing it will not
be something
fleeting
or fallible.

“I’m content
and happy,”

he reasons.

I am too,
I want to say.

I am so happy
that I’m unsure
if I can ever be as joyful
if you were not here
to share in it.

"More time,"

we both request

with different reasons
for wanting the same thing.

Request

You, sitting there
in my room
full of fleeting
Autumn sunlight

I wanted nothing more
than permanence.

“How about we
spend the day
just laying here
looking at each other?”

You laughed
as if my question
was comical

As if it was
possible
for me to want
anything
beyond life
in your eyes.

Meditate

The doctor
asks me
if I meditate.

He tells me
it may help
alleviate
my anxiety
my (often) self-made
turmoil.

I smile.

“Sure,”

I say.

I meditate
in the mornings
when his
hand reaches
under
the covers
for my own.

I meditate
under the rays
of the rising sun
as I
listen to his sounds
of sleep.

I meditate
in the smell
of his skin
on the constellation
of his sun spots
in the wrinkles
around his mouth
as he smiles.

"Yes,"

I continue.

"I meditate every day."

I meditate
to my heart’s song
and the rhythm
it shares with his.

meanings

I see meaning 
in the lovely
ways you
exist and
engage
in the world.

It's
in the way you
reminisce
about our first kiss
and the ramen noodle date
and the flirting that
grew to a
connection that
longed
for love.

It's
in the way you
sleep
on your stomach
one hand left open
for my own.

It's
your loving
touches
under the table
while we’re out
with our friends.

You called me
robust.
You called me
strong.

It's
the way you
don’t make fun
you do not dismiss
you support
and you encourage.

“I never want to let you go.”

I hope your words
mean as much to you
as they do
me.

I hope these loving
ways
mean what I
long for them
to mean.

Seashell

There is
something
to the idea 
of riding the wind 
instead of stubbornly 
trying to change its direction.

I walk to the ocean's edge 
find a seashell in the sand 
I toss it back to the water. 
It doesn’t belong to me anyway. 

Easy

It's a word 
and you're a man
of intentional speech
words
carefully crafted
thoughtfully delivered.

"I love you,"

eyes burrowed into
my own.

"I love you, too."

I am a woman
who uses words
emotionally
lightly.

With you
I take a breath
my mind slows
I seek intentionality.

I look to
the source of my heart's
peace
I reflect.
I decide what I've chosen.

I will love you
when you are free
while you are
choosing time
for yourself.

When you seek
space
When you need silence.

I won't simply
love you
when it’s easy.

I will love you
when there's
distance.
When I
lose sight of
us and only
see me.

I will
love you
when you’re
reading the news
or watching YouTube videos
or working too hard.

I chose to love you.
And I will love you
freely.

I will love you
at your
freest.