"I want to explore the world,
with you,"
He says, imploring.
"I want to explore this city,
together."
He smiles.
I look at him
at his crystal,
calculating eyes.
"My love,"
I want to say.
"There's only one thing
I want to explore."
Instead I laugh
placing my arms
around his shoulders.
We stay like this
as he rocks side to side
breathing in my hair.
He heads into the bedroom
signaling the end of
the conversation.
"You,"
I whisper
as he disappears
around the corner.
Lovable
He tells me
I am lovable
when I thought
for so long
I was not.
More time
“I need more time,”
he says,
earnestly.
I need more, too,
I want to respond.
I need more time
with you
knowing it will not
be something
fleeting
or fallible.
“I’m content
and happy,”
he reasons.
I am too,
I want to say.
I am so happy
that I’m unsure
if I can ever be as joyful
if you were not here
to share in it.
"More time,"
we both request
with different reasons
for wanting the same thing.
Request
You, sitting there
in my room
full of fleeting
Autumn sunlight
I wanted nothing more
than permanence.
“How about we
spend the day
just laying here
looking at each other?”
You laughed
as if my question
was comical
As if it was
possible
for me to want
anything
beyond life
in your eyes.
28
I am
(I feel)
so loved
I could burst
in its glow.
Meditate
The doctor
asks me
if I meditate.
He tells me
it may help
alleviate
my anxiety
my (often) self-made
turmoil.
I smile.
“Sure,”
I say.
I meditate
in the mornings
when his
hand reaches
under
the covers
for my own.
I meditate
under the rays
of the rising sun
as I
listen to his sounds
of sleep.
I meditate
in the smell
of his skin
on the constellation
of his sun spots
in the wrinkles
around his mouth
as he smiles.
"Yes,"
I continue.
"I meditate every day."
I meditate
to my heart’s song
and the rhythm
it shares with his.
meanings
I see meaning
in the lovely
ways you
exist and
engage
in the world.
It's
in the way you
reminisce
about our first kiss
and the ramen noodle date
and the flirting that
grew to a
connection that
longed
for love.
It's
in the way you
sleep
on your stomach
one hand left open
for my own.
It's
your loving
touches
under the table
while we’re out
with our friends.
You called me
robust.
You called me
strong.
It's
the way you
don’t make fun
you do not dismiss
you support
and you encourage.
“I never want to let you go.”
I hope your words
mean as much to you
as they do
me.
I hope these loving
ways
mean what I
long for them
to mean.
love songs
Listening to
love songs
stir in me
feelings
of intimacy and trust
of security.
I like
hearing love songs;
they make me
think of you.
Inspiration
I like
that you do not
inspire in me
sad poems
and wistful hope.
Hope isn't something
needed
between you and I.
I anticipate
I ask
and receive.
Seashell
There is
something
to the idea
of riding the wind
instead of stubbornly
trying to change its direction.
I walk to the ocean's edge
find a seashell in the sand
I toss it back to the water.
It doesn’t belong to me anyway.
